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The whole time I have been following the program I have been without hunger. I have felt in control of my intake. I have not been unhappy with the menu, or the structure, or the reduced choices, once I got used to it. I have felt empowered.
And then along came Saturday.
It started like any other day on the program. Protein shake porridge. A protein snack for morning tea. Some vegetables, chicken breast and basmati rice for lunch. And then, instead of being content after my afternoon snack, I became ravenous. I tried to ignore it but eventually succumbed to
I struggled. Big time. I couldn't stop thinking about food. I found myself standing in front of the pantry door (several times) and in front of the fridge too. Looking. Canvassing. Just like old times. And then, when I succumbed to the urge, I ate quickly, without savouring the flavours. And then I felt guilty.
Same old shit.
The Food Patrol has a term for this: "The Barrel person within". They talk about people, including yourself, who try to sabotage your efforts. Telling you "You've lost too much weight too quickly". "Just *try* it". "You're boring now you are on a diet". "Why *can't* you have a few snacks?".
My inner barrel had a field day with me on Saturday.
The bad news is that I gave in. The good news is that I got back on the wagon the next day and ignored any silly urges that reared up from time-to-time. My inner-barrel got bored by Monday and it has been smooth sailing again.
I learnt a lot this week. I learnt that, despite my excellent results, I still have a long way to go to gain 'control' of my thoughts and behaviours. I also learnt that if I slip up, I can get back into it. It is not 'all' or 'nothing'. The end result will not be determined by a blip on Day 34; rather a consistent effort for the duration of the 90 days.
I wasted a day, but I have 50 odd days to make amends.
In the end I lost 700g**. Not unhappy with that.
Have you met a 'barrel person' during your weight loss journey? How did you manage?
* The Food Patrol is a sponsor of And then there were four
** For those interested in the fine print, I now weigh 77.7kg. Total loss since Jan 16: 8.9kg
10 comments:
I was the barrel girl yesterday. I listened to the voice in my head, but I didn't succumb to it. Still felt like crap for it. Still realised this is just as much a mental as physical journey. But you know we'll get there, and it will all be worth it. xx
My inner barrel person is very very loud. And becoming my outer barrel person! Well done for getting back on the horse.
All the time. I measure my success not on my ability to navigate the diet, but on my ability to quickly get back on track....xx
Five weeks already?! Go you! I don't think I could last five days. Don't let the 'barrel bust-out' get you down. Just look forward to the next five weeks and the weight loss you will achieve. All the best! :-)
I love your perspective - and focus.
Congratulations on an awesome loss - already. And more to come.
:-) x
Oh my inner barrel is an ever present echo!! Being at home with the kids doesn't help either I think (too much easy access to the fridge) Good girl for jumping back on that 'bucking horse' ....... your a strong woman,an your already your half way :)
On one hand I'm sorry to hear that you had a crap day, but on the other hand I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one.
I am down to 'one day at a time' I can't think about tomorrow I just have to focus on today. It's hard when it starts to become long term. but then as you say it's about changing behaviour. we know we want this! Great loss this week. I think you once said to me "Just think of it as one of your free meals."
No, no! This was probably a Famine Reaction... your body telling you it needs more grub, and if you don't provide some it'll have to slow your metabolism.
Have you read Amanda Sainsbury-Salis' 'The Don't Go Hungry Diet'?? All info there. I think Amanda is such a clever person, research scientist at the Garvan Institute, mum and has lost 27kg and kept it all off. Hers is a must-read.
And I'll shut up now before I start boring for Australia on the subject!
The only barrel I struggle with is in my own head.
Christmas was good. No, VERY good. But now I'm trying to trim back up. It's been hard. I'm on track, but have those ravenous days.
I have a 'before' picture on my fridge. It's there to remind me how I felt when I was thinner. It's my daily mantra.
This food patrol thing is doing wonders for you. Love it.
xxx
Foodpatrol is a loud of crap
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